Family Stories-- Ask Those Questions NOW

By Debra DuPree Williams @DDuPreeWilliams

July is a busy month for birthdays in our family. No less than five family members were born on the fourteenth—my Daddy and his twin brother, my son, Christopher, and two cousins who are siblings. My great-nephew and his wife are about to have their third girl born in July. And the sixteenth is my granddaddy’s birthday. He would be 131, Daddy and Uncle Bill would have been 99. Such milestones.

Upon awaking this morning, I realized today is Granddaddy’s birthday. I wish that I knew more about him. We didn’t spend a lot of time with him when we were children. Granddaddy had a rough childhood. When he was only two years old, his father, at age 28, passed away, leaving my great-grandmother with two small children to care for. Aunt Nora was five years older than Granddaddy. I don’t know the real story, but for whatever reason, Granddaddy and Aunt Nora were sent to live with their uncle, brother of my great grandmother. We’ve been told that they were not exactly welcoming of Granddaddy and treated him cruelly, so at age 10, he ran away to an uncle on is father’s side where he lived until he was old enough to be out on his own.

Lost Stories

How I wish I knew these stories. The truth of them. The back stories. If those relatives were cruel to Granddaddy . . . why? Where did he go when he left his Uncle William’s home?Why could he read but not write? Where did he meet Grandmother? So many questions.

All I know is that when he married my grandmother, Roxie, she taught him to write. Was it because he could read and write that he became a surveyor and a carpenter? No clue. I didn’t spend enough time with him to ask those questions. And I was so young, only 13 when he died, learning about the elderly in my family was likely not a priority.

Sadly, I didn’t know my grandmother at all. She passed away when my Daddy was not quite 18. Daddy was very close to Grandmother. He was the sickly twin and spent most of his time with her when he was a boy. He started school well after his twin, so he had a few years at his mother’s side. She taught him to cook, clean, and to tend the garden. I can tell you that I know him well enough to say that he delighted in cooking and gardening, but cleaning would have been the last thing he would have desired. Nope, not that boy.

But I don’t have many stories about Grandmother. About all I know is that she was a few years older than Granddaddy, she may have walked with a limp from having stepped on hot coals when she was a child, and she died from what was then called lockjaw, today known as tetanus. She stepped on a rusty nail and passed away from lockjaw in 1938. The tetanus vaccination wasn’t readily available until the late 1940s. (As a side note, have you had your booster shot? You need one every ten years.)

Out of the blue this week, I was thinking of my in-laws. I wondered about the story of my husband’s parents’ elopement. I know that Mom was in nursing school in Birmingham, where Dad lived, and that she couldn’t continue with school if she was married. Word got out and she was forced to leave. But when and why and how did they decide to elope? How did they tell Dad’s family? Her family? Sooo many questions.

Ask Those Questions

My point in all of this is—ask any and all questions now. Don’t wait as one day, it will be too late. There are so many unanswered questions about the lives of my ancestors. How I wish that someone had written down these things. If only I had had the desire as a young woman to know these things.

Back in August of 2017, I wrote blog posts in which I included questionnaires which you could take to family reunions or gatherings. They aren't the final say on what you may want to ask, but they are a good start. As you head to family reunions this year, take along these questions. I think you will be glad that you did. Maybe not today, but one day, you will be very happy you did. Scroll through my posts to find the three from August of 2017 for those questions.

Have you asked all the questions you have? If not, please print out the list I have made for you. Let us know if this helped, and if you have a list, share yours with us.

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