Called to be You

By Debra DuPree Williams @DDuPreeWilliams

Have you seriously thought about your purpose in life? What you've been called to be or do? A few years ago, author Rick Warren came out with his highly successful book, The Purpose Driven Life. My husband and I loved the study of this book so much, we went through the class twice. Yes, it’s that good. Though it was published in 2002, it is still very much relevant today . . . perhaps even more so.

When hubby and I moved into our home here in western North Carolina last year, a spider spun her web on one of the windows overlooking the fairway behind our home. She was so good at her job of being a spider. It was obvious that she took pride in her web-making abilities. Of course, her main purpose was to ensnare prey for her and her babies. I have to believe she knew she had created something that no other creature could—this beautifully crafted work of art. When it became broken, she quickly began work on the necessary repairs. I took many photographs of her and her web design. 

Anticipation

In the meantime, winter came. Miss Spider went into hibernation (let me believe this, please), and hubby and I went to Florida for a few months to escape the cold and snow. It was with great anticipation that we returned to our North Carolina home, this time permanently. I so looked forward to Miss Spider being there in the Spring with her latest web.

Alas, she never came.

Hubby and I don’t spend a lot of time in our sun room in the dark of night. You can’t see out. Everything is sleeping. But this week we’ve been without all those things run by our internet and television provider, so last night we decided to sit in the sun room with a good book in hand. I looked up and saw movement. There, right in front of me, was Miss Spider, weaving away. I was thrilled. Hubby grabbed a flashlight while I snapped as good a photo as was possible with my aging iPhone and in the darkness.

Now, I know this isn’t the first Miss Spider, the one to whom I had become so attached. My new Miss Spider was younger and much smaller than the first. But there she was, weaving a lovely piece of art. 

Same Species-Different Ways

Two spiders of the same species, both called to the same purpose—create a web, capture food for you and your wee ones. Each carried out this task in her own way. My first spider spun in the daytime. This new, younger spider spins in the dark of night.

Recently, I sent a friend’s book to another friend who has family in the city in which the book takes place. The friend who read the book wrote an amazing, lyrical review of the book. (Author friend you know who you are and you will be thrilled with this review.) The reader sent me her review prior to posting it and I was blown away by her use of words to describe the author’s work. I suggested to the reader that perhaps she had a hidden desire to enter the writing world.

Reader declined, saying while she knows she has a way with words, she has no desire to write. 

It’s all about purpose. She doesn’t feel called to write. This reader friend is a phenomenal decorator and seamstress. And she quotes more lines from songs and movies than anyone I know. She takes great care of her parents who are in their mid to late eighties, but still living alone and going strong. With her husband, they travel to the city in which the book takes place to see their son perform (he's a gifted jazz drummer) and to visit with their daughter-in-love and granddaughter. In other words, she knows her purpose and she is fulfilling all those things. She’s living the life she is supposed to be living.

Called to Our Unique Purpose

Writing may be what I feel called to do, but my friend, though she is gifted with the ability to write beautiful sentences, doesn’t feel that call, that purpose for her life.

The Author of our lives calls each of us to a specific purpose. Have you found yours? If not, listen for that Still Small Voice. It may come in a remark from a friend, from a song lyric speaking directly to you, from a page in a book, from a certain scripture verse that speaks to your heart. Each of us is unique—we fulfill a specific purpose. I have many writer friends, but not one of us has written the same book.

I’ll ask again—Have you found your purpose? Share your calling with us.

Romans 8:28.

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Family Stories-- Ask Those Questions NOW

By Debra DuPree Williams @DDuPreeWilliams

July is a busy month for birthdays in our family. No less than five family members were born on the fourteenth—my Daddy and his twin brother, my son, Christopher, and two cousins who are siblings. My great-nephew and his wife are about to have their third girl born in July. And the sixteenth is my granddaddy’s birthday. He would be 131, Daddy and Uncle Bill would have been 99. Such milestones.

Upon awaking this morning, I realized today is Granddaddy’s birthday. I wish that I knew more about him. We didn’t spend a lot of time with him when we were children. Granddaddy had a rough childhood. When he was only two years old, his father, at age 28, passed away, leaving my great-grandmother with two small children to care for. Aunt Nora was five years older than Granddaddy. I don’t know the real story, but for whatever reason, Granddaddy and Aunt Nora were sent to live with their uncle, brother of my great grandmother. We’ve been told that they were not exactly welcoming of Granddaddy and treated him cruelly, so at age 10, he ran away to an uncle on is father’s side where he lived until he was old enough to be out on his own.

Lost Stories

How I wish I knew these stories. The truth of them. The back stories. If those relatives were cruel to Granddaddy . . . why? Where did he go when he left his Uncle William’s home?Why could he read but not write? Where did he meet Grandmother? So many questions.

All I know is that when he married my grandmother, Roxie, she taught him to write. Was it because he could read and write that he became a surveyor and a carpenter? No clue. I didn’t spend enough time with him to ask those questions. And I was so young, only 13 when he died, learning about the elderly in my family was likely not a priority.

Sadly, I didn’t know my grandmother at all. She passed away when my Daddy was not quite 18. Daddy was very close to Grandmother. He was the sickly twin and spent most of his time with her when he was a boy. He started school well after his twin, so he had a few years at his mother’s side. She taught him to cook, clean, and to tend the garden. I can tell you that I know him well enough to say that he delighted in cooking and gardening, but cleaning would have been the last thing he would have desired. Nope, not that boy.

But I don’t have many stories about Grandmother. About all I know is that she was a few years older than Granddaddy, she may have walked with a limp from having stepped on hot coals when she was a child, and she died from what was then called lockjaw, today known as tetanus. She stepped on a rusty nail and passed away from lockjaw in 1938. The tetanus vaccination wasn’t readily available until the late 1940s. (As a side note, have you had your booster shot? You need one every ten years.)

Out of the blue this week, I was thinking of my in-laws. I wondered about the story of my husband’s parents’ elopement. I know that Mom was in nursing school in Birmingham, where Dad lived, and that she couldn’t continue with school if she was married. Word got out and she was forced to leave. But when and why and how did they decide to elope? How did they tell Dad’s family? Her family? Sooo many questions.

Ask Those Questions

My point in all of this is—ask any and all questions now. Don’t wait as one day, it will be too late. There are so many unanswered questions about the lives of my ancestors. How I wish that someone had written down these things. If only I had had the desire as a young woman to know these things.

Back in August of 2017, I wrote blog posts in which I included questionnaires which you could take to family reunions or gatherings. They aren't the final say on what you may want to ask, but they are a good start. As you head to family reunions this year, take along these questions. I think you will be glad that you did. Maybe not today, but one day, you will be very happy you did. Scroll through my posts to find the three from August of 2017 for those questions.

Have you asked all the questions you have? If not, please print out the list I have made for you. Let us know if this helped, and if you have a list, share yours with us.

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Genealogy Files, Include Them in Your Will

By Debra DuPree Williams @DDuPreeWilliams

Last week I told you about helping my sister clean out a lifetime of this and that. She had lots of books. Seems a passion for books is a genetic trait. Who knew? But I must say that I am not in the least surprised. Her collection looks like one bookshelf-full compared to my overflowing, still-need-more, hoard.

As I returned home with all of the treasures she had given to me, including her entire collection of C.S. Lewis, I happened upon a Facebook post about what to do with your genealogy in terms of who gets it. Well . . . one thing we didn’t tackle at Sis’s was all the boxes of genealogy papers.

Yes, folks. I said papers, not digital files. 

When Less is More

By Debra DuPree Williams @DDuPreeWilliams

Last week, I was in Florida with my sister. She’s battling metastatic breast cancer and she had chemo yesterday. In spite of how bad she feels, she plodded through the days like a trouper, letting nothing keep her from the tasks at hand.

She cleaned out a lifetime of stuff. You know the things we all collect when we’ve been married forever. Sis is a keeper of many things. It isn’t in her nature to discard much of anything. In her mind she says she doesn’t know when she may need it again.

To support this theory, as we were preparing dinner one night, Sis’s daughter-in-love searched high and low for her egg separator, to no avail. She commented that she guesses she cleaned out and got rid of too many things. Well . . . maybe. 

Decisions, Decisions

Sis managed to sort through a great many boxes. We made donations, keep, and throw-away piles of things. All in all, a good, but tiring week. Every box was  looked at and decisions made about its contents by the end of the week.

With this in mind, I hope you will forgive me for such a short blog post this week. My husband was there helping along with one of our cousins. None of us is in our youth or even middle age any longer. Frankly, we were very tired each nightt. We’re all thankful for having been able to take on such a big chore. (Hubby and I are back home in Florida tonight after two days on the road.)

As we went through all those things, making decisions about what to do with each item, we all thought maybe Marie Kondo isn’t too far off the mark when she talks about living as a minimalist. Less stuff, means more time for all the things you love and time with the people you treasure.

More Time for Fun

I think Sis is going to have a lot more time to do those things she truly enjoys rather than having to worry about cleaning out a lifetime's accumulation. She honestly is looking forward to being free of the burden of too much stuff. 

How about you? Have you jumped on the clean it out and down-size movement? Was it hard for you to part with things? Share your experience with us.

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HAPPY FOURTH OF JULY, EVERYONE! Thankful for my freedom and for those who gave their all that we may be free to this day, 243 years later. 
God Bless America!